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Britt Combs: Too many criminals roaming free

Put the scum in jail and let the nice guys out.

COMBS

By Britt Combs | The McDowell News

Published: January 20, 2009

Updated: 01/20/2009 05:59 pm

Recently in this space, we discussed the possibility (remote) of courts "encouraging" errant youth to enlist for military service. Several of you responded favorably to the notion. I suspect that someday soon some hotshot candidate will ride the issue to victory in a judicial election, as it plays well with voters, presuming response to that column is any indication.
The deep-seeded liberal in me gets irked at the sheepish willingness American jurors routinely display to put their neighbors in prison whenever some judge or prosecutor orders them to. But the law-and-order conservative that lives in the very center of my heart and curses my inner liberal for a weak-willed sissy wants to see some old-time justice.
The exponential growth of prison population is a frequent topic of debate among civil rights activists and budget hawks. I submit that the criminal justice system can alleviate the problem, and simultaneously curtail wild hellionism, by eliminating perpetrators of what are often called "victimless crimes" from the jails.
That would result, granted, in great throngs of potheads hitting the streets (Shudder! Horror!), but, as has often been noted, potheads make good neighbors, are friendly and seldom accost respectable women folk or whip the thunder out of random passers-by. This would free up a great deal of jail space for real criminals, the trash and the scum and the no-account thugs.
These should be treated to a new, almost medieval brand of justice. Imagine how happy a society we could have if criminals found guilty of first-degree breaking and entering got a mandatory 20 years. As it is, the blotters of our newspapers are crowded with the same names over and over -- this one broke into five houses last month, that one broke into three churches. They stole thousands of dollars in property and money.
Are you bothered when you see that said worthless swine was sentenced to probation and a six-month suspended sentence and 30 days active with credit for pretrial confinement? Does it bug you when you see that this was his fourth conviction for the same crime in three years?
Do you gush with civic pride when you consider he'll be back on the street tomorrow and that your house is likely next?
Of course not.
Would it offend your sense of liberal gentleness if said trash were put away for 20 years, despite his whining about how he wasn't raised right? Don't lie. You know it wouldn't bother you one little bit.
Trashy people tend to keep to their own kind. The only people who would be heartbroken over their incarceration would be other trashy people. (Oops! Sorry, Inner Liberal. I meant to say "trashy Americans" or "members of the Trashy American Community.")
Here's a genius idea: Each time a beer can is found on the side of the road where some dirt-bag has thrown it out of his car, it ought to be fingerprinted and the prints identified. Good heavens, you say, that would take up an awful lot of the cops' time. They've got so much work to do. But consider: If you put every drunk-driving litterbug in prison, there'd instantly be a drastic decrease in overall crime.
In other words, probably just about every worthless thug who drives around throwing beer cans out the window also breaks into houses, robs convenience stores, rapes women and children and makes and uses meth. And the converse is also likely true, that just about everyone who does those kinds of things also drives around throwing beer cans out their window. Simply establish a minimum sentence of 10 years for driving around throwing beer cans out the window and get the cops to make investigating roadside beer can litter a priority and enjoy a virtually crime-free community in which to live. Image the soaring property values we'd see. Decent people from all over America would be lining up to move here.
How do we pay for this? Hard labor, folks. Old school. Yes, many a Raleigh politician will have to forego the vast political contributions they receive from roadway and prison construction companies, but we can build all the roads and all the prisons we need with prison labor. Hard, backbreaking work builds character and has transformed many a worthless thug into a respectable citizen.
In all seriousness, my plan is the synthesis of humanitarian and civic-order concerns. Convicts should be treated humanely and with dignity. Violence and rape in prison should be punishable by death. Just get rid of the scum, they are irredeemable. Those remaining should be both worked like dogs and treated to every consideration. Their safety, comfort, health and education should be seen to. They should be worked like they have a debt to pay and treated like honorable men who are paying their debt fair and square.
As it is, we have violent felons playing the system of revolving-door prisons while hard time is given to harmless potheads and pathetic schmucks who have failed to do their IRS paperwork exactly right. There is no justice in that.

Reporter Britt Combs writes for The McDowell News in Marion, N.C. He welcomes your comments.