Combs: Palin embarrasses self, others at Tea Party party

I've been suspicious about this "Tea Party" jazz from the git-go. Mind you, I'm all for people wrecking the government's happy fun time, but the Tea Party of 2009-10 has had nothing in common with the 18th century prototype.

The original tea party involved gangs of, well, terrorists, to be blunt about it, going out and trashing things that belonged to the government and to the government's corporate bed buddies. They destroyed a very valuable cargo of monopoly merchandise, and it cost the Crown and the East India Company a lot of jack. What's more, it was a slap in the face to the government -- a public demonstration of its impotence and inability to protect its own interest. It was an invitation to others to defy a government that had so alienated its subjects that only mercenary cynicism remained.

The only similarity to that by today's tea party is the penchant for dressing up in campy costumes. I assure you that Washington and its corporate monopoly sponsors are not troubled or intimidated by the current tea party.

Still, it looked like there was some potential. It can only be a good thing when people publicly cuss our Washington masters and talk openly about casting off the yoke of government and declaring freedom. But any potential energy the movement may have had was drained last weekend at the Tea Party convention in Nashville.

In a brilliant masterstroke, the Republican Party has managed to take over the fledgling movement and turn it into nothing more than the GOP equivalent of the typical Democrat rent-a-mob. The list of speakers read like a B-list of Republican talking heads. For the whopping registration $549, plus a "fee" of $9.95, attendees got to hear from tired hacks like ultra-Republican Joseph Farah. (Buyers of non-refundable tickets were warned in advance that any behavior deemed "disruptive" would get them tossed out.)

The centerpiece was, of course, the appearance of Our Lady of Roguish Intellect, Sarah Palin. Here's a mainstream politician, party insider, once (until she quit in a fit of pique) governor and chosen heir of freedom-hating, Constitution-burning Washington hack John McCain. What can she add to a convention that represents itself to be an anti-government, anti-Washington, anti-incumbent rally? Well, one hell of a lot of laughs for the viewing public at home, for one thing.

For about an hour she gibbered the most meaningless polyrot I have ever heard. One or two minutes of fawning praise on the veterans, a comment or two vaguely insinuating that government really should be smaller, gosh darn it (but devoid of any specifics) and she launches into a rant about how we don't have nearly enough wars right now and should be attacking a lot of more countries than the coward Obama has the stomach for. She accused Obama of "courting America's adversaries" and said we needed a lot more violence and a lot less sweet talk from some dang college kid law professor. I don't recall Republicans whining about it when Bush spoke with this Muslim king or that Muslim ambassador, but perceiving the subtlety of hypocrisy was never Palin's strong point. To Palin, simply nothing will do except sending a lot more American teenagers to die or be maimed for the glory of Washington. She sounded like Dick Cheney in a dress.

The entire rant was embarrassing. She opened with the assertion that America "is ready for a revolution," which is always a bold and screamingly funny statement when uttered by a major party elected official. Of course it was tongue in cheek. If any of the attendees had offered to actually start the revolution that evening, she'd've been the first on the phone, calling in FBI, CIA and Homeland Security goons to drag them off to the government's political prison in Cuba.

She doesn't get it. She later appeared in Texas at a campaign rally for Gov. Rick Perry, where she said Perry had been misquoted. He wasn't calling for Texas to secede (massive cheers and applause), but to succeed (dead silence).

In a nutshell, Palin is a pretty, charismatic and compelling speaker, but she has never shown the intellectual curiosity necessary to familiarize herself with issues, law, history, civics or any other boring topics that shape our public lives. To her, it can all be boiled down to voting in Republicans and trusting good government to be very good indeed. She speaks of hope and offers no reasons for hope. She speaks of war and offers no reason for war. She speaks of uniting and offers no rallying point any more specific or meaningful than the flag itself.

But the Tea Party seems unable to resist the takeover of their movement by the party. Republican Chairman Michael Steele has declared himself a member, and the group seems gaga over Republican candidates, so we can pretty much write it off. The Tea Party will suck up as many campaign contributions as the sheep will fork over, then crash and burn in some corruption scandal or other, and disappear with all the cash. Same story, played over and over.

It's truly sad, because a popular movement against the federal government is exactly what is needed. As long as alleged popular uprisings like the Tea Party, Move On or the Reform Party are willing to get in bed with Republicans and Democrats, they are doomed to fail before they even start.

Those suckers who paid to go to that convention would have done better to stay home and get drunk with their families, for all the good they did. Or even engage in some actual tea party-type behavior. That self-congratulatory cocktail party for rich, well-connected Republicans was a complete waste of time. The real Tea Partiers must surely be spinning in their graves.